Facebook 101

Published June 2009

FACEBOOK 101

Just the other day my friend Melissa announced that she was taking a break from that bastion of technology and replacer of actual human contact, Facebook. You can imagine the restrained pandemonium that it caused amongst her 800 odd Facebook friends (odd as in reference to numerical definition. I'm sure her friends are perfectly nice, normal individuals) when she made it clear that she wanted a little break.

Now my friend is one of those annoyingly popular people, you know the type - the one that everyone wants to be friends with. So when she made it clear that a bit of Facebook (FB to the initiated) downtime was in order, her page was filled with well-meaning pals asking her what was up, as well as messages of reassurance and care.  One would think she was she was leaving the state indefinitely on the sly. Something tells me that when Melissa is ready, she'll launch an FB redux and get back into it.

Ah, Facebook. How I adore thee. I am not going to go into the detailed hows and whys of FB because I am assuming that anyone reading this will already have a smidge of an idea. Even non FB users have at least heard of it or have a rough inkling.

Personally speaking, all I know about Facebook is how it affects me and what it does for me. I can't give you statistics of users and advertisers but what I can tell you is that three years ago an old, old friend sent me an email invitation to this thing called Facebook which she promised was better than Friendster. I heed and hawed, mumbled excuses and contemplated my navel several times over, before finally giving in and agreeing to take a look.

Once registered as a proper FB user, I found too many friends I'd not seen in at least ten years. Apparently the international Facebook community had been extremely active for a good couple of months and the idea of being able to reconnect with the people I grew up with was something that made me very happy. So I dove right in, posted photographs, added friends and built up a decent FB portfolio.

I also tried getting friends here in Kota Kinabalu tuned onto FB but was met with a lot of initial resistance. The usual grunts of I-can't-be-bothered-it's-just-like-friendster-what's-so-good-about-it type whines permeated and ran rampant. For a short while there I was convinced that FB was perhaps not meant for Sabah just yet.

However, a small handful of mates were clued in enough to give it a shot and ended up liking what they saw. They made the big push for this online program and now it is where it is. Everywhere.

FB is truly a unique online environment. I mean, where else can your grandmother see photos of you doing shots on the bar (on. Not at) with your pants somewhere south of where they should be, gyrating wildly with the village bicycle and anyone who'll have you? A proud family moment and one I'm sure she'll not be forgetting anytime soon. Evil friends can also make your life very uncomfortable with something called the Photo Tag function. Any shot of you that has your name on it will appear on your profile page. Nice.

My rule of thumb on these sorts of evenings is to have a clear discussion that any photos taken will not appear on FB. And it wouldn't hurt to have certain relatives on something called a Limited Profile either. Sorry mom.
Speaking of mothers, did you know that stay-at-home moms make up the largest growing group on Facebook? Apparently they're the most active too.

And then there are the so-called 'urban legends' which are sadly true and have happened in real life – FB users have found out their relationships and even marriages have ended and are over thanks to Relationship Status changes on the profile pages of their significant other. Highly inappropriate to say the least.
 

Another thing to bear in mind is Privacy Settings. Never add someone you're not sure about. When you have to scrunch your face up and try your best to recall if you've even met, then it's a surefire bet that you're probably better off not accepting their Friend Request. But that's just my personal opinion. I know some voracious FB users who see this as an opportunity to collect as many friends as they can and compare numbers. A form of competitive sport for the lazy, if you like.

Going back to that simple decree; if you don't know them, don't accept them. Yes there weirdos on FB. Yes to a certain degree your life is exposed. And yes you do need to be responsible for the content that you upload. So be smart about it and you'll be fine.

And we get to my favourite part of FB. The Status Updates. A status update is where you can let your friends know your plans for the day, what mood you're in, whether you're contemplating skiving off work or looking for a happy hour associate. This section of FB has the ability to floor me and can make me smile more times in a day than I care to think about, especially when it comes to friends who are at the very opposite end of the world. Instead of wondering what sort of day they're having, I can just check their updates. Sweet.

It fascinates me how Facebook has literally taken over the planet and continues to grow and expand. Sure, there are things about it that bug me. And those endless quizzes that flood up the homepage are annoying to say the least. I have no interest in joining your Mafia War or becoming a vampire general to counter the werewolf strike. And I really do have better things to do with my time than finding out what your true name in Uzbekistani is.

I will, however, support charities and fundraising organizations as well as projects that I feel are worth it. I suppose I should mention that FB is not only limited to making and maintaining friendships, it also has giant marketing and online gaming communities. It is by far one of the best ways to raise awareness and company profiles online today.

It is interesting to note that to some FB users, personal emails are now outdated and letters redundant. "Poking" your friend online is an accepted expression of affection and endearment, though I doubt that a physical poke to the ribs would be appreciated quite in the same manner.

I hear whispers of Twitter all over the place. While I am sure that it's a great program, I'm still not convinced I need to sign up for it yet. I'm still pretty happy with Facebook for the foreseeable future, thanks.