More Online

Published September 2009

You’ve got to love the online media. These are some snippets of news that I personally enjoyed reading. A light-hearted deviation off the doom and gloom of the global financial tsunami tangent and other equally serious issues. I’m afraid I can’t really cover ‘Serious’ as well as some of my more talented peers within the writing fraternity. However, ‘Silly’ I can do with my eyes closed.

TAYLOR SWIFT – 1 KANYE WEST – 0

I have always had a teensy inkling that Kanye West was the sort of diva who would make superstars like Aretha Franklin and Mariah Carey blush.

Known for consistently throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat and being plagued by controversy, West’s recent behaviour at last week’s 2009 MTV Video Music Awards took the cake.

Upset by Taylor Swift’s win over Beyonce in the Best Female Video category, West took to the stage during Swift’s acceptance speech and grabbed the mike, stating that Beyonce was the rightful winner of said award. The audience responded to West’s blatant unprofessionalism and rudeness with a sea of well-deserved boos.

West was immediately criticized by a slew of fans and celebrities, with US President Barrack Obama likening West’s behaviour to that of a donkey’s bottom – in an off-the-record comment of course.

While he may be going through the motions of the grovelling gauntlet and apologizing every which way he can on his website, on TV shows and to Taylor Swift herself, it has to be said that people generally seem to be getting more than a little fed up with childish antics. Several music stations around the world even enforced a ‘No Kanye’ day in what could be described as a global lockdown, if you like.

It is interesting to note that this is not the first time West has stomped his foot like the proverbial child many of us see him as. During the MTV Europe Music Awards in 2006, he failed to win for Best Video. No points for guessing what came next. West went on stage as the award was being presented to winners Justice and Simian and proclaimed that he should have won instead. I’ve begun to see a pattern here.

A long fall from grace for the man who was once dubbed ‘the hottest MC in the game’. A Grammy award winning artist whose tracks were tightly eclectic has now become very simply erratic to me.

13 YEAD OLD TAKES FASHION WORLD BY STORM

Chances are you won’t have heard of Tevi Gevinson. It’s quite alright, I only just found out about this ‘tween myself. While her peers and counterparts may be busy with usual teenage issues, 13 year old Gevinson is the toast of the international fashion circuit and is currently being feted by some of the best designers in the world.

How did this happen? Simple. Apparently the girl has an amazing eye for trends and detail. Her blog, Style Rookie, can count on gushing fan love from fashion commanders such as Yohji Yamamoto and Marc Jacobs to name a few.

Taken directly from her blog is her very own self-description :

“Tiny 13 year old dork that sits inside all day wearing awkward jackets and pretty hats. Scatters black petals on Rei Kawakubo's doorsteps and serenades her in rap. Rather cynical and cute as a drained rat.”

Some would find that charming. Others, vaguely disturbing. Apart from the cute touches of self-depreciating humour, it doesn’t change the fact that this girl knows fashion. Gevinson is a pro when it comes to her takes of the newest lines and is fast becoming a front-row regular at fashion shows. Her writing is sharp, witty and accurate. Nary a trace of teenage angst is present while she deconstructs and analyses design and form.

Could this tiny waif with the oversized glasses and zany wardrobe become the next Anna Wintour? Well, it’s always a possibility.

Visit: tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com

TOO RAUNCHY FOR MALAYSIA

I kid you not, this is the title for an article I read on MSN Malaysia by one Nicholas Chow. It is an entertaining list of artists that have been restricted from performing in Malaysia, or have had to change aspects of their show to appease certain groups.

The newest head to roll off the figurative chopping block was tennybopping Danish group Michael Learns To Rock. While I can’t speak with authority on their songlists and albums, I can however state that MLTR is no Judas Priest (Brit Heavy Metal band) and I’m hard pressed to believe that there would be misbehaviour of any kind from MLTR concertgoers. It’s as funny to me as imagining gangs of little five year olds at a Barney (purple dinosaur) show running riot and engaging in thuggish activities of the lout variety.

Other artists and groups that received warnings and strong caution prior to performing but went ahead and rocked out regardless: Linkin Park, Mariah Carey, The Pussycat Dolls, Avril Lavigne and Gwen Stefani.

The article also listed Rihanna down as a small group was protesting her indecent dress as an affront to Asian values. However days prior to her concert Rihanna suffered injuries at the hands of her then-boyfriend Chris Brown in the infamous incident which I’m sure we’re all aware of.

And interestingly enough, Beyonce is now set to perform in KL next month after her 2007 gig faced similar problems over indecent dress and provocative dance moves

One can only wonder what next week’s news will bring. 

When Words Fail Me

Published September 2009 

It is never a pleasant sensation when writer’s block strikes. It’s quite the tightrope walk, trying to mould my self-indulgent scribbling into something even remotely reader friendly. Imagine the strain when the scribbling itself decides to pack up in a fit of pique and tells me to take a long walk off a short bridge. Nope, not an experience I’d wish on many.

So there I was. Sitting in front of my computer for days on end, hoping lightning would strike and something, no matter how small or seemingly trivial, would set the creative juices flowing once again.

I heed and hawed, bumbled along my daily reads online looking for inspiration. I took a little time off work when my beloved cousin came over for a short vacation, thinking that what I really needed was a little downtime and lots of fresh, animated conversation – read copious amounts of beer, little more than the imbiber’s battlecry of “Bottoms Up”, and very little sleep.

While those were all noble attempts (I never claimed I was not living in denial), nary a decent idea for this column sprang to mind. I felt the desperation setting in as I imagined yet another apologetic text message to my extremely patient and highly forgiving editor (thank you Daisy) explaining my lack of submissions.

That bastion of online knowledge, Wikipedia, defines the term Writer’s Block as ‘a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work.’

It is widely known that most writers do suffer from spurts of WB, with many respected leaders in this industry admitting to having to step away from the computer for a spell. On the other hand, certain authors have suffered from this dreaded ‘condition’ for years, citing a complete and utter lack of motivation or inspiration as very tangible reasons.

Many famous writers themselves have suffered at one point or another at the hands of The Block.

Well loved prolifics such as Tolstoy, Fitzgerald, Plath and Hemingway, whose individual bodies of work changed the very face of literature, admitted to battling with this dreaded condition.

While it would be extremely arrogant of me to try to place myself anywhere near the feet of these literary paragons, I think it goes without saying that those who write for a living will sympathize and empathize with anyone who has been in the same proverbial boat.

I have come to realize that in these situations, honesty really is the best policy. Whenever friends would pose the usual “So what’s new with you?” query, I would respond with a heaving sigh and explain that the grey matter lodged firmly in my head – some would refer to that as a brain - wasn’t firing off the synapses as quickly as I would have liked. I whined piteously until my buddy Audrey, also one who has a strong background in the writing fraternity, asked me if I had heard of malaprops and suggested I write about that.

“A stand for malaria,” I wondered aloud. “No, silly,” she replied and explained that a malaprop is when one word is accidentally used in place of another with unintended, comedic results.

Audrey then proceeded to give me an example by way of a well known Malaysian songstress whose grasp of the English language, or lack thereof, was the stuff of legend. Said singer was interviewed by a respected publication and when asked what her favourite facial feature was she replied that she liked the tip of her mammary glands. Well no, she didn’t actually explain it like that. However it was eventually determined that this international star was actually, and innocently, referring to her dimples.

Millions are well aware of George W Bush’s globally known malaprops. His cringe-worthy speeches have gone down in the annals of political humour as ‘Bushisms’. A fine example of Bushism is his uttering of "It will take time to restore order and chaos." During a televised broadcast, no less.

And I think I’ve made my point in this department.

Mondegreens are another interesting variety of light-heartedness. This has happened to many of us, I’m sure. You’re humming along to your favourite song. You think you know the words. When you finally get a hold of the original lyrics it appears you’ve made some serious errors. A Mondegreen basically refers to words that are misheard, rather than misused. Some fine song examples are as follows:

• “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” – Excuse me while I kiss the sky

Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix

• “The girl with colitis goes by” – The girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds by The Beatles

• “There’s a bathroom on the right” – There’s a bad moon on the rise

Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival

• “I’ll be your xylophone waiting for you” – I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you

Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations

• “Hold me closer, Tony Danza” – Hold me closer, tiny dancer

Tiny Dancer by Elton John

And then there’s my own personal favourite with that well loved 80s anthem by Paul Young, Every Time You Go Away. I used to incorrectly belt out the chorus as “Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you”. In my defence, I was only 8 years old when this hit the charts.

It has been interesting for me to note that when words fail me, I simply retreat to whatever cracks a smile. I’ll admit to stifling a snort and several chuckles while writing this. But then again, anything is better than wallowing in self-pity while repeatedly banging my head against the nearest hard surface, methinks.

Resources: Wikipedia/kissthisguy.com

The Two Mediums

Published August 2009

So let’s say there’s this movie that you really want to watch. It’s opened to decent reviews. Friends seem keen on it. The catch? It’s a film based on some bestselling paperback or another.

I guarantee that you will come across fans of the book sprouting the usual lines of “the movie was not as good. The book will always be better.” It’s a statement that I find a little redundant given that most directors of calibre these days are aware of sensitivities from the author’s point of view and will try their best to stay true to the gist of the story.

I had a lengthy conversation with some friends whose tastes differ greatly from mine. My interpretation of a Sunday morning would be to languish horizontally in front of the telly until the need to tend to a hint of a hangover gets me out of bed.

Said friends interpretation on the best way to unwind during the weekend would be to stick their respective noses into one new novel or another. A concept that is still a little lost on me. Nothing wrong with it at all, in fact it’s a pastime I admire. I just don’t think I have it in me to hit the books again. And yes, these friends are the sort who would agree that most movies don’t do justice to the books that they’re based on.

I am aware that some would be surprised to know that I don’t usually enjoy reading – and the last proper novels I read were at the beginning of last year. They were Thrity Umrigar’s ‘The Space Between Us’ and Kiran Desai’s ‘Inheritance Of Loss’. My reasons for picking those two award winning books were less for biblio gratification, and more to educate myself further on my culture, something that I feel a little removed from at times.

Taking into account that my chosen profession is one that requires me to study various forms of writing, reading is pure work to me. It’s a chore. I wasn’t always like this though. In my younger days I was a voracious reader who could rip through anything that was put in front of me.

It started off harmlessly enough with Enid Blyton’s ‘The Wishing Chair’ and ‘The Faraway Tree’ series. I then moved on to more contemporary reading, completed my first proper novel when I was 9 and by the age of 16 I was grappling with Dante and his Divine Comedy – though it has to be said that Dante got the better of me. I was never able to fully enjoy his work and it ended up being my Waterloo. With my neurons pretty much fried, Dante’s work was the last proper piece of solid literature that I touched for over 10 years.

My personal opinion on the whole book and movie debate is very simply this: The movie will never be as good as the book. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the movie’s take on things. To be fair, however, I do know how it feels when some piece of work isn’t interpreted as you think it should be.

Before I delve even further along my tangent I will state that I was mortified when the movie ‘Queen of the Damned’ was released several years ago. I was horrified at the brutal chopping and meshing of two books from gothic horror writer Anne Rice’s brilliant Vampire Chronicles – the other title being ‘The Vampire Lestat’.

I picked up on Anne Rice while I was a teenager who was exploring each and every artistic facet that I could. To say that I was (and still am) a bit of a Rice fan would be a severe understatement to anyone who knows me well.

I had watched and enjoyed Neil Jordan’s successful adaptation of Rice’s ‘Interview With The Vampire’ to the silver screen so when I heard that ‘Queen’ was headed in the same direction, so help me, I had expectations.

I won’t go into the bitter disappointment I felt watching two brilliantly rich works of fiction that had been mangled to fit into some sort of celluloid fantasy clearly meant for the layperson. And no disrespect to the late Aaliyah who played the eponymous role of Akasha. She was probably the best thing about it to be honest. And the movie did well. So well in fact that it still boggles the mind. But please permit me a small bon mot in wondering aloud if this had something to do with Aaliyah’s untimely and tragic death prior to the launch of the film. Had she not passed away I sincerely doubt that it would have been a worldwide hit.

Going back to me and my take on the book versus movie conundrum, I have no issues in enjoying a film for the pure entertainment of it, of what I take away from it.

I fell heavily in love with Anthony Minghella’s ‘The English Patient’, an adaptation of Michael Ondaatje’s Booker Prize winning novel. I guess it comes down to the fact that I think of myself as more of a visual person. I enjoy watching, rather than wondering or imagining. And yes, books are always going to give readers a richer sense of feeling and emotion. However, if the director is able to pull off condensing text appropriately and apply the correct amount of emotion, description and action into something tangible, then I’d say it’s a job well done.

There are also ongoing discussions that show no signs of slowing down. One famous example would be on ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ by Arthur Golden and the screen adaptation that followed it several years later by Rob Marshall. While I’ve not read the book as yet, it is interesting to note that many who have are supportive of the film. The general statement is that the book was not an easy one to navigate around while the movie was able to sum up an epic tale succinctly.

J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter highly successful series of books and films also do not escape debate, with legions of fans proffering their own interpretation of her highly personalized lexicons and characters.

In summation, regardless of personal taste or preference, there seems to be no clear answer as to which medium is better. I suppose it all boils down to the ability to utilize one’s imagination. And should you find that one of your favourite reads is being adapted to movie form, I’d say best to keep an open mind. What you see may end up surprising you.

News To Me

Published August 2009

The beauty about conducting ones daily reading via online news portals is that the temptation to deviate towards attention-grabbing headlines is huge. The best thing about pages like Yahoo! for example, is that it not only covers international, local and financial news, but also entertainment round-ups and features that keep me clicking for hours.

Take today. I’m in my office. I’m staring at the computer. I’m thinking about what to write for my next column. Nothing comes to mind. I’m stuck. So I figure I’ll do my usual scouring of new updates online hoping to find some sort of inspiration somewhere. And true enough, I find articles that catch my eye.

MATTHEW ROBSON

In today’s reading I find myself grinning at an article written by one Ben Patterson, in which a 15 year old intern for global financial service firm Morgan Stanley has written a scathing report on the likes and dislikes of his current generation. The great thing about this is that the captains of the media industry are actually listening. Young Matthew Robson’s findings have got many around the world agreeing that this kid is on to something. And it’s not earth-shattering brand spanking new information, mind. It’s very simply someone taking the time out to say his piece and finally have the big guns listen. "One of the clearest and most thought-provoking insights we have seen,” stated one Morgan Stanley executive.

Some of Robson’s findings about his counterparts are:

*Teens don’t Twitter. When utilizing this application by mobile phone, they would much rather text and ping friends directly them rather than resort to Twitter with no guarantee of their messages being read.

*Access to free, easily downloadable music is a serious priority for them.

*Hardly any pay attention to banner advertisements on websites, with many finding them highly annoying.

*Most prefer to read their news online.

The ensuing online commentary from teens and adults alike on this feature was an interesting one, with many young adults claiming the contrary to the above points, and some middle-aged individuals confessing to being Twitter hounds and the like.

SIX TUNES TO TORTURE WITH

Freelance writer Danny Gallagher presents a list of six (once) popular songs based on an article by an NYU musicologist in the Journal of the Society for American Music. I was surprised to find out American military and law enforcement bodies include playing one or more songs repetitively during interrogation as an effective way to get detainees and suspects to divulge information without having to resort to physical force or violence.

In this highly entertaining write-up one would be initially hard pressed to understand how seemingly harmless songs which you probably know all the words to (and are guilty of having belted out at least one of them during a karaoke stint) can be responsible for inflicting pain. But I suppose after extreme repetition, it wouldn’t be hard to see why the following tracks could wreck some serious damage:

1. “Born In The USA” – Bruce Springsteen
2. “Dirrty” – Christina Aguilera
3. “These Boots Were Made For Walking” – Nancy Sinatra
4. “Shoot To Thrill” and “Hells Bells” – AC/DC
5. “Anything” – Barry Manilow
6. “I Love You” – Barney The Dinosaur

Make of this list what you will. I for one could see myself cracking under the strain.

ONWARDS

I then decided to allow my reading to stay within the confines of the lighter variety and continued exploring. While still on the same stream I gravitated towards MSN UK’s Entertainment channel and chuckled as I went through a list of the best TV catchphrases.

Catherine Tate’s “Am I bovvered?”, Little Britain’s “Yeah, but no, but” and Sacha Baron Cohen’s Jamaican patois salutation “Booyakasha” from Da Ali G show were listed as some of the UK’s most well loved catchphrases. Not exactly scientific findings or nuclear research papers, but quirky and fun nonetheless.

Today’s column may seem a little rudderless but I assure you that this is not the case. It’s hard to pin down and define what each and every person out there enjoys reading. When it comes to me, I know what I always choose to avoid: Most things related to politics (I simply feel I don’t have a good enough grasp of it to fully understand the ins and outs) and anything even remotely attached to Japanese anime.

The next time you are online, read and explore as much as you can. If anything, whatever you find should make for interesting dinner conversation at the very least.

Goodnight, Storyteller

Published August 2009

One natural aspect of growing older is that we collect tales and stories of our lives, like pegs and scars of age. Whether they are meant to serve as life lessons to those younger than us, or as a form of common ground bonding with other like-minded individuals, there’s a reason for them somehow. “Everyone has a story that is worthy of being told,” said my mentor to me years ago. “The trick is in finding out how to do it.”

When I started blogging here in Sabah I was naive, verbally inept and felt that I generally just tried too hard to please rather than for myself. One other very important factor was that I was also lonely for blog company. There was an absence of fellow bloggers in my direct vicinity (clearly not a case now judging by the shrooming numbers on a daily basis here in Sabah alone). I honestly searched high and low, looking for a blogger I could relate to.

Fortunately for me, I was able to interact with the now-paragons of the blog community in Malaysia during what I refer to as the ‘early days’. While we had never met in person, there was a sense of solidarity. We felt as if this was something new, something special. And we didn’t want to waste the opportunity to do something different. I can now, with some measure of pride, consider bloggers like Kenny Sia (30,000 unique hits a day) and HB of Sixth Seal fame to be my compatriots of sorts.

Closer to home I finally managed to touch base with award winning photographer Louis Pang and Terri Ng of A Daily Obsession (now a dear friend and owner of the third most popular food blog in the country). My interest in individuals like Marina Mahathir and Nury Vittachi was also sparked further when I discovered the existence of their own blogs, and in a way, it endeared me to their work even more.

It was also around this time that I picked up on the buzz surrounding a lady named Yasmin Ahmad. As my well-informed friends posted online, Yasmin was fast becoming a force to be reckoned with in the film industry. Her second movie Sepet had just launched and early reviews were extremely positive.

Now please understand that this was a good couple of years ago. The notion of a Malaysian film of substance was one that took me a little while to get used to. Yes, call me judgemental but I was jaded with the industry and its offerings. Once I was able to find out a bit more about Sepet, however, I was genuinely intrigued.

Furthermore, I read an internationally recognized film critic’s two sen on Sepet, stating that he enjoyed the film’s “sincerity, truthfulness, subtle humour and a sensitive portrait of the two cultures,” It was at that point that I knew I would love it.

I also kept regular tabs on Yasmin’s blog, taking note of her progress and interest in other things with artistic touches such as pieces of music and poetry that she liked. Yasmin named her blog The Storyteller, which I personally thought was an extremely apt title.

I can still remember how I felt after watching Sepet for the first time. It had been ages since a simple little story had seriously moved me. Chinese boy meets Malay girl. They click. The dialogue was uncomplicated. It presented love in its most honest and unembarrassed state. No grandeur, no glittering facades that promise but don’t deliver. Yasmin found the right formula based on what she felt she should work with – and it was a thing of beauty. A humble tale which had many nodding in agreement that Malaysia finally had a first lady of cinema to call its own. She found the stories. She understood the concept of tales that needed to be told.

While Sepet made the rounds at international film festivals (yes, even the big ones) and Yasmin became the darling of said events and fellow directors, her humility and appreciation for life and its blessings was still clearly evident by her blog posts. It almost seemed as though many of us had finally found the person who knew how to balance it all out. She, who with a sentence or two, gently made her point in a way that resonated with all things pure and good.

This may seem a little redundant to some but I for one looked to The Storyteller for inspiration. I was undergoing massive personal and professional upheavals at that time and Yasmin’s blog made me feel just that little bit better after having read it.

Not only was it full of some seriously feel-good vibes, but as I mentioned earlier, it was an education in a way. I explored the works of Sufi poet Hafez, for example. Had I not read that he was one of Yasmin’s favourite poets, I would have carried on in this world, oblivious to the genius of a man who was able to describe love so appropriately in a ghazal that would have been written over 600 hundred years ago.

It should come as no surprise then that many mourned the recent loss of Yasmin Ahmad who passed away suddenly from massive brain haemorrhaging. It felt as if a great light had gone out, without warning or reason.

By now there must be easily hundreds if not thousands of tributes in the media and on the net to a lady who’s work carried with it strong messages of love, gratitude and humility. Always humility.

I ‘d like to include a segment from a post on The Storyteller. This would have been around the time that she first started blogging way back in 2004.

It’s entitled “Sepet – Notes From The Writer/Director” :

“ I also wanted “Sepet” to be about first love. First love has always fascinated me because it happens to you at a time when you have not yet learned to lie to yourself. With first love, within five minutes, you accept the other person for everything that they are, warts and all. I believe that our first love is the truest love of all. Unfortunately, most people I know do not even believe there is such a thing as “true love”.

They remind me of the last words in a poem by Wislawa Szymborska : Let the people who never find true love believe that there is no such thing. Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.”

Rest in peace Kak Min and goodnight Storyteller. Sleep tight.

Yasmin Ahmad

1^st July 1958 – 25^th July 2009

www.yasminthestoryteller.blogspot.com

www.yasminthefilmmaker.blogspot.com

A Few Good Reads

Published July 2009

It has recently come to my attention that I spend a substantial amount of time online. Be it for the addictive lure that is Facebook, to fulfilling my daily news intake requirement and onwards to some regular blogs – the internet is something I doubt I could do without for, say, longer than 3 days.

For this week’s column I have chosen to write a little more about my daily haunts online. Reason being someone I know quite well asked me for a list of sorts, so that they could update themselves on “what was happening out there.”

My current profession is one that requires me to surf online. A lot. Even the term ‘surfing’ is one that I find a little redundant nowadays. I’ll be honest in admitting that I cringe a little when having to use it, but I have yet to come across its successor.

So anyways back to my ‘surfing’. I promised said friend a list and delivered. I veered towards sites that were relevant to things that were of interest to me. And then figured it would be a great idea to share some of these sites here too.

Now I do have to do the disclaimer bit and say that these are my personal picks and faves. I can’t take responsibility for content on the sites and encourage you to use your own judgement and sense of perspective in these matters.

I have selected a few that I enjoy as they either crack me up (if you’ve met me, you’ll agree this is a good thing) or give me light hearted food for thought – puns fully intended, you’ll see why in a bit.

FMyLife – www.fmylife.com

Yes, the ‘F’ in the title is that very same ubiquitous four letter word often used on a regular basis by many, myself included.

FMyLife is a hilarious site that features true tales of sheer bad luck with a voting system that allows readers to decide if the individual does indeed have it rough, or if they in any way asked for it and therefore deserves less to no empathy.

Take this fine example of FMyLife-ness : “Today my daughter used Pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks.” While I do sympathise with the protagonist, I also found myself snickering at the mental picture of a man flailing about in his socks.

DABA or Dating a Banker Anonymous – www.dabagirls.com

With all eyes turning to the financial capitals of the world in this current economic climate, spare a thought for the women behind the big guys. This site is a witty and sarcastic take on all things related to downsizing in style and the life of dating a banker from the women who know best. Get acquainted with the term ‘Quarterlife Crisis’ and Recession Friendly Dating Tips as DABA Girls swap notes and advice on Love In The Time Of Layoff.

The Travelling Hungryboy – www.eatbma.blogspot.com

I have been an avid reader of The Travelling Hungryboy for well over two years now. A working professional currently based in Singapore, TTH describes his blog as “gastronomic adventures and epicurean musings from a United 1K traveller who thinks that Anthony Bourdain has the coolest job in the world.”

TTH’s blog is easy to enjoy as he updates regularly. Coupled with a handy cameraphone which allows him to capture images of food and drink throughout his travels. TTH displays a clear passion for many different sorts of cuisines (I particularly enjoy his airplane food reviews)making this a daily-must read for me.

The Curious Diary of Mr. Jam by Nury Vittachi – www.mrjam.typepad.com

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I am a huge fan of Nury Vittachi. Having had the privilege to interview this gem of a man twice in the past, I am of the firm belief that Nury is Asia’s funniest writer bar none.

A popular figure in Hong Kong’s lit scene, Nury’s daily columns are published in several leading newspapers around the region and he also has a series of books under his belt. So yes, it goes without saying that when he writes, he writes well.

On his site he waxes lyrical on the comical in daily life and does a brilliant job of it. From the vortex of one’s living room sofa (akin to a parallel universe, the things you could find stuck under there) to the classic defence on why men don’t write advice columns, expect some seriously entertaining reading and side-splitting observations on life in Asia.

So there you have it. My choice of daily reading. Please do bear in mind that I’ve not included the more serious sites with news updates and ‘important stuff’ but instead have gone ahead and assumed that most people reading this would already be well versed with the likes of CNN, BBC and the plethora of up-to-the-minute online news available.

Let us also not forget friends and family who blog. Chances are if you’re not a blogger yourself, you’ll know someone who is. And yes I do check in on my fellow bloggers on a regular basis just to see what’s new on their planet. I am still chuckling to myself from an earlier visit to my friend Yolanda’s blog. On her latest update she posted several humorous taglines under the heading Words For Women To Live By. I liked No.7 which read “Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.”

And then there No. 9 - my personal favourite which resonated and summed me up to a T: “Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.”

Trivia And The Net

Published June 2009

Not too long ago I was having a couple of drinks and animated conversation with two friends of mine, Paul and Hazel. Now Paul is recently retired from the British Royal Navy and had loads of interesting stories to share about life on the high seas and the like. You would be correct in assuming that I piled on question after question on things related to ships and the military that I’d always wanted to know about.

It was all going quite well and I was learning a fair bit. That was until I thought of a query that needed answering and felt somewhat sheepish. I explained that I knew my next question would be quite rudimentary but Paul assured me this was fine and encouraged me to ask him anyway.

Why is a Mess called a Mess, I wondered. I fully understood the concept of it being a cafeteria where military personnel had their meals. I also knew that there was an Officers Mess. But to my question Paul had to take a minute and finally responded that he himself was not 100% sure apart from the obvious meaning to the term. As this effectively halted the banter at the table (while everyone took a minute to think of an appropriate explanation) Paul responded with the best possible retort. “Google it,” he said with a smile.

I’ll be honest in admitting that I didn’t immediately reach for the laptop as soon as I got home, but this really got me thinking. There were so many things I’d often wondered about, a plethora of odds and ends that required some level of explanation. Why didn’t I Google more often?

A few years back I used to participate in a weekly quiz night at a local entertainment establishment here in Kota Kinabalu. As an enthusiastic participant (go on, ask me anything you like about 80s music – my forte) I soon became a regular quiz master myself, scouring the internet for trivia and the like, picking a balanced batch of quiz questions that related to current pop culture as well as a multi-choice selection to mix it up a bit.

In order to prepare and word quiz questions appropriately with the correct answers (to reduce the chances of argument amongst teams) I trolled several trivia sites on the net and was able to select quiz picks that I felt were balanced and well rounded. I also learned a thing or two myself. For example, I can now speak with a whisper of authority on my favourite animal - the polar bear. Thanks to facts and information being easily obtainable online I can tell you, without double-checking my facts, that the colour of polar bear skin under all that fur is black, and so is it’s tongue. The polar bear is also the largest carnivore on land but thanks to Nat Geo and similar wildlife shows I’m sure most are already aware of that.

It was during this period of my feverous hunting down of facts and questions that I started picking up some truly bizarre information. I believe the correct term for this is Useless Trivia as it doesn’t necessarily blend in with one’s day to day activities. In short, the world would not come to an abrupt, screeching halt if you weren’t immersed in it.

However, nothing changes the fact that most of us still enjoy being aware of little bits of information that have nothing really to do with anything important. Okay I may be speaking a little too much for myself here, or maybe I’m just focusing on the fun aspects of it. Either way, trivia is always entertaining and I thank the internet on a semi-permanent basis for making information so readily available and painfully easy to access.

Here, have some trivia: To those who imbibe as I do, it may amuse you to learn that the term ‘Happy Hour’ was coined in the 1920s by the U.S. Navy to signify a regularly scheduled period of onboard entertainment. I can’t confirm or deny if actual alcohol was present, but at least now we are all aware that it goes back a fair bit.

Everyone reading this would have definitely heard of William Shakespeare. Did you know that the Bard invented the words “bump” and “assassination”? Nyet, neither did I until about 5 minutes ago.

Brilliant tactical wartime general and Emperor of France Napoleon Bonaparte suffered from acute felinophobia. To put it simply, he was terrified of all cats regardless of species or size, little kittens included. In England the Speaker of The House Of Commons is the only individual in parliamentary sessions who is not allowed to speak. For sports fans, Kodak was the first official sponsor of the modern Olympic Games way back in 1896.

Foodies take note. Honey is the only food which does not spoil or go off. Ice cream, apart from being one of my reasons for living, originated from Mesopotamia and is considered to be the oldest desert in the world.

Let’s take a quick look at this word trivia that I’ve been bashing about in this week’s column as if it’s going out of style. Trivia comes from the Latin "tri-" + "via", meaning three streets. Back in the day at an intersection of three streets in Rome, they would have some sort of counter where ancillary information was listed. Again the crux of this term is very simply that one could obtain information that was either important to them, or it wasn’t. Hence, trivia.

And before I forget, I did manage to find out why a Mess was addressed as such. Apparently in the 15th century, a group of people who ate together was also known as a "mess," and it is a widely accepted term in today’s military jargon.

Facebook 101

Published June 2009

FACEBOOK 101

Just the other day my friend Melissa announced that she was taking a break from that bastion of technology and replacer of actual human contact, Facebook. You can imagine the restrained pandemonium that it caused amongst her 800 odd Facebook friends (odd as in reference to numerical definition. I'm sure her friends are perfectly nice, normal individuals) when she made it clear that she wanted a little break.

Now my friend is one of those annoyingly popular people, you know the type - the one that everyone wants to be friends with. So when she made it clear that a bit of Facebook (FB to the initiated) downtime was in order, her page was filled with well-meaning pals asking her what was up, as well as messages of reassurance and care.  One would think she was she was leaving the state indefinitely on the sly. Something tells me that when Melissa is ready, she'll launch an FB redux and get back into it.

Ah, Facebook. How I adore thee. I am not going to go into the detailed hows and whys of FB because I am assuming that anyone reading this will already have a smidge of an idea. Even non FB users have at least heard of it or have a rough inkling.

Personally speaking, all I know about Facebook is how it affects me and what it does for me. I can't give you statistics of users and advertisers but what I can tell you is that three years ago an old, old friend sent me an email invitation to this thing called Facebook which she promised was better than Friendster. I heed and hawed, mumbled excuses and contemplated my navel several times over, before finally giving in and agreeing to take a look.

Once registered as a proper FB user, I found too many friends I'd not seen in at least ten years. Apparently the international Facebook community had been extremely active for a good couple of months and the idea of being able to reconnect with the people I grew up with was something that made me very happy. So I dove right in, posted photographs, added friends and built up a decent FB portfolio.

I also tried getting friends here in Kota Kinabalu tuned onto FB but was met with a lot of initial resistance. The usual grunts of I-can't-be-bothered-it's-just-like-friendster-what's-so-good-about-it type whines permeated and ran rampant. For a short while there I was convinced that FB was perhaps not meant for Sabah just yet.

However, a small handful of mates were clued in enough to give it a shot and ended up liking what they saw. They made the big push for this online program and now it is where it is. Everywhere.

FB is truly a unique online environment. I mean, where else can your grandmother see photos of you doing shots on the bar (on. Not at) with your pants somewhere south of where they should be, gyrating wildly with the village bicycle and anyone who'll have you? A proud family moment and one I'm sure she'll not be forgetting anytime soon. Evil friends can also make your life very uncomfortable with something called the Photo Tag function. Any shot of you that has your name on it will appear on your profile page. Nice.

My rule of thumb on these sorts of evenings is to have a clear discussion that any photos taken will not appear on FB. And it wouldn't hurt to have certain relatives on something called a Limited Profile either. Sorry mom.
Speaking of mothers, did you know that stay-at-home moms make up the largest growing group on Facebook? Apparently they're the most active too.

And then there are the so-called 'urban legends' which are sadly true and have happened in real life – FB users have found out their relationships and even marriages have ended and are over thanks to Relationship Status changes on the profile pages of their significant other. Highly inappropriate to say the least.
 

Another thing to bear in mind is Privacy Settings. Never add someone you're not sure about. When you have to scrunch your face up and try your best to recall if you've even met, then it's a surefire bet that you're probably better off not accepting their Friend Request. But that's just my personal opinion. I know some voracious FB users who see this as an opportunity to collect as many friends as they can and compare numbers. A form of competitive sport for the lazy, if you like.

Going back to that simple decree; if you don't know them, don't accept them. Yes there weirdos on FB. Yes to a certain degree your life is exposed. And yes you do need to be responsible for the content that you upload. So be smart about it and you'll be fine.

And we get to my favourite part of FB. The Status Updates. A status update is where you can let your friends know your plans for the day, what mood you're in, whether you're contemplating skiving off work or looking for a happy hour associate. This section of FB has the ability to floor me and can make me smile more times in a day than I care to think about, especially when it comes to friends who are at the very opposite end of the world. Instead of wondering what sort of day they're having, I can just check their updates. Sweet.

It fascinates me how Facebook has literally taken over the planet and continues to grow and expand. Sure, there are things about it that bug me. And those endless quizzes that flood up the homepage are annoying to say the least. I have no interest in joining your Mafia War or becoming a vampire general to counter the werewolf strike. And I really do have better things to do with my time than finding out what your true name in Uzbekistani is.

I will, however, support charities and fundraising organizations as well as projects that I feel are worth it. I suppose I should mention that FB is not only limited to making and maintaining friendships, it also has giant marketing and online gaming communities. It is by far one of the best ways to raise awareness and company profiles online today.

It is interesting to note that to some FB users, personal emails are now outdated and letters redundant. "Poking" your friend online is an accepted expression of affection and endearment, though I doubt that a physical poke to the ribs would be appreciated quite in the same manner.

I hear whispers of Twitter all over the place. While I am sure that it's a great program, I'm still not convinced I need to sign up for it yet. I'm still pretty happy with Facebook for the foreseeable future, thanks.