Lifelists Of An Almost 30 Year Old

 Lifelists Of An Almost 30 Year Old - Published July 2007

There is something captivating about the idea of putting a Life List together.

This notion came to me as I was watching the telly last week. A prominent talk show host was plugging the pros of starting ones own Life List. It really struck a chord as I too had thought long and hard of experiences and targets I hoped to attain. Some in the near future, some were distant and there were one or to that I had decided, with a grin, to leave entirely up to chance.

What is a Life List, you wonder? It's actually quite a fun and somewhat inspiring activity to partake in. All you have to do is make a list of things you would like to accomplish in your life. Goals that you'd like to see achieved. You may set yourself a realistic time frame if you so wish, or you could leave it up in the air and see where fate takes you. There are other terms you may be familiar with, such as "101 Things To Do Before You Die" which incidentally is a book by Richard Horne. That sounds a little too cryptic for me. I much prefer the optimistic tones of "Life List".

Now the key word to remember here is "realistic". Be as realistic as you can, and honest with yourself too. Tiger Woods is extremely capable of winning more U.S. Masters. Sadly you and I are probably not and there is a high likelihood that we will never be, no matter how many hours are spent at the driving range practising for that sweet swing.
However if you are indeed a superb golfer and have a serious shot at it, I'm certainly not going to stop you from trying. I will wish you the best of luck and make a tiny plea for an autograph.

Lets say you're thinking of trekking around Annapurna sometime in the next two years. It's a totally feasible and realistic goal. But plan for it, make sure you're ready and take all the necessary precautions. Prepare carefully as you would any other activity that required some level of endurance or physical exertion.
It's also probably best to steer clear of activities like the hugging of Great White sharks for example. Just a precaution and I doubt that sharks are fans of cuddles anyway. No tickles either methinks.
This is a Life List after all, not a compilation of things guaranteed to secure you a stay at the local hospital.

On the other hand, experts say that there is nothing wrong in aiming high. However if we were to plan poorly and not complete certain goals, it could be enough to put some individuals off the whole idea of striving for betterment altogether.

That really is the gist of a Life List.  To recognise what may be missing in our lives and that we want to do something positive about it.
People may scoff at the notion, and we may even try to tell ourselves that we're not really being goal-oriented. Some may suggest that would hint at an overt level of rear end-retentiveness and no one ever wants to admit to that sort of personality disorder.
But I for one am happy to participate and take a stab at putting together my own Life List. I've given myself my own time guideline and have kept it as flexible as I could, but this is one that reflects accurately on myself.

Within The Next 5 Years I Want To :

- Have a basic knowledge of at least one Chinese dialect

- Get my palm read

- Settle down with the object of my affection

- Take one totally and utterly hedonistic holiday at a beautiful locale

- Hate less but also apologise less

- Invest in a professional camera to indulge my inner 'Annie Leibovitz'

- Make frequent trips up to Mesilau because it's cold up there and it makes me happy

- Write a book

- Hug those I love as often as I can

- Be proud of my ethics and senses of right and wrong

- Meet up with old friends who used to be like family to me

- Visit a desert just to see what that sand feels like running through my fingers

- Find a way to properly thank my mentors for everything they have done for me

- Read something so profound that it will change my life and leave me emotional for days

- Nuzzle constantly

- Regularly invite good friends over for home cooked meals

- Fall out of love with Ralph Fiennes's character Count Almásy in The English Patient

- Smile more

- Quote a Pablo Neruda poem entirely from memory

- Do something thoughtful for a random stranger

- Get over my addiction to Facebook.com

- Adopt a pet

- Be less selfish by contributing my time and energy towards charity work

Something else that struck me was the realisation that I will be 30 years old in a few months time. A new decade, a turning point of sorts for me.
I can safely say that I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s and did everything that I was supposed to do and a lot more that I probably wasn't, but those are clearly stories for another day. Being in your 20s gives you the excuse of trial-and-error. That you're still feeling your way along into serious adulthood. A rite of passage which can be a little scary, constantly confusing, but is a fun ride nevertheless.

So as I prepare to say goodbye to the follies and frolics of my youth proper, I am reminded of this book in particular : "30 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do Before Turning 30" by Siobhan Adcock.

I was fortunate enough to study under Siobhan while taking part in a humour writers' workshop several months ago. A hilarious woman with amazing amounts of encouragement for other writers, she once stated that I would be someone she could see herself having a great time at a bar with over several drinks, just based on the nature of the work that I had submitted to her online.
I remember being pleased as I was paid, in my mind, the biggest compliment I had ever received. Needless to say I had a fantastic time interacting with someone who's feedback on my work sent me into stitches regularly.

 The following Siobhan's witty response when asked about what motivated her to pick such an unusual topic for a book.

"Basically, I am list-obsessed, and also bossy. So I decided to write something that would allow me to combine my two great loves, writing lists and bossing people around," she states.

"The longer story is that when I was about to turn 30, I realized there were a lot of things that I just had no idea how to do, that I thought I would surely have picked up by that time, from some source or other.

But as life turns out, you're not guaranteed to have a genteel old lady aunt who'll teach you to write gracious thank-you notes, or the garage-monkey best guy friend who'll show you how to change a tire if you should ever find yourself stranded by the roadside with a flat.

You don't pick that kind of stuff up by osmosis, either, unfortunately. Maybe this is the kind
of thing that's motivating your own life list?

So what I did was make a list of stuff I always wished I'd learned how to do. A lot of them turned out to be basic practical life skills (keep a plant alive, hold a baby), and then there were a couple that just seemed like lost arts--stuff everybody USED to know how to do by age 30 that nobody seems to really teach you anymore, like how to sew on a button or get out common stains.

 Then I narrowed the list down to 30 (you know, for symmetry's sake), and got started asking around, doing research, and interviewing people about how-tos. For example, I interviewed a bartender I knew about the best way to send a drink to somebody's table. I asked a pregnant friend how someone who wanted to help her out of a car might best go about doing that...without grabbing anything inappropriately or seeming like a condescending jerk.

As I get closer to 40, maybe I'll think about a sequel, but damn. 40 seems a lot harder than 30. How to negotiate a mortgage? How to plan your retirement? Not the kind of thing that lends itself to pithy five-page instructions."

On to the list of activities in the book "30 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do Before Turning 30". I've decided to take a stab at it myself and I will add my own comments in just to see how my skills measure up.

Basically, every 29-almost-heading-to-30 year old should know how to :

1. wrap a present
- Yes

2. start a successful fire in a fireplace, at a campsite, and in a barbecue
- Yes to only the barbecue. Hopeless at the other two

3. finish a piece of furniture
- Never even thought of starting a piece

4. get a raise
- No. Begging never works.

5. order wine at a restaurant without getting stiffed
- Yes, I usually stick to regions or winemakers that I am familiar with, that way I'm more aware of what the usual restaurant prices are and would know if I'm getting ripped off.

6. parallel park in three breathtakingly beautiful movements
- Oh yes

7. dance a “slow dance” without looking like an idiot
- I have two left feet but as clumsy as I am, yes I can pull of a slow dance

8. use a full place setting properly, including chopsticks and Asian soup spoons
- Of course

9. clean your place in under 45 minutes, when friends, relatives, or prospective lovers are coming by unexpectedly, and soon
- Apart from sometimes not doing the dishes straightaway, I usually keep a tidy home, so yes

10. hold your liquor
- I'm capable of holding a decent amount without falling over. Yes to that.

11. cure a hangover
- There is nothing a nice bacon and egg fry up can't fix. An ice cold Coke works wonders too. If all else fails, it's painkillers to the rescue.

12. do the Heimlich Maneuver
- I know it in theory. Have never attempted it on a human being or animal.

13. use a compass
- Nope. Shocking.

14. change a flat
- Ah, again, only in theory. I do know how to use my mobile phone to call up guy friends for help.

15. jump start a car
- Yes, helped a friend out just the other day actually.

16. open a champagne bottle
- Look, none of this chopping the neck off with a sword or anything. I know how to open a bottle of champagne without taking anyone's eye out by placing a napkin over the cork while twisting the bottle. So a very boring yes.

17. send a drink to someone’s table
- Yes.

18. cook one “signature meal”
- I've got a couple of good recipes up my sleeve

19. whistle with your fingers
- Absolutely not. Been trying for years and always ended up with spittle everywhere

20. take good pictures
- I can take decent pictures.

21. fold a fitted sheet
- Yes

22. remove common stains
- I know how to pre-soak, so I guess that counts doesn't it?

23. sew a button
- Nope. I cannot sew to save my life

24. carve turkey, lasagna, and birthday cake
- No to the turkey, yes to lasagna and birthday cake.

25. hold a baby
- I'm extremely careful with handling babies but I do know how to carry them properly. Yes.

26. change a diaper
- No. I'm usually a healthy distance away at that point.

27. keep a plant alive for more than a year
- No. I am famous for killing anything even remotely green in my apartment

28. make dogs and cats love you
- This is what I excel in. Yes.

29. help someone (an older or ill person, a woman you’re trying to impress, your mother) out of a car
- Yes, when I brought a friend to the hospital not too long ago.

30. write superior thank you notes
- I can scrawl out a decent thank you. I think there is room for improvement in this department.

After taking both these lists into account and realizing just how appropriately they fit into my life right now, it is in my humble opinion that sometimes we should stop trying to understand why we need to do what we've always wanted to. No justification should be necessary.

Veer away from explaining what you need to make you feel complete. It's your list, it's your life.As long as you're a responsible adult with a healthy set of goals, my only imput would be for you to just go for it. And I wish you the best of luck.